So, I came across a system that I really like (I found it in the book The Thomas Jefferson Home Companion), but I haven't implemented it because it's also a bit more detailed than I think I can handle. Basically, this is what it entails:
- Mom makes cards of every job in the household/yard that need to be done
- She assigns them a value based on difficulty. A chores and B chores. B chores are harder and worth 2 A chores
- Every child has to do 4 chores each day: 4 A chores, 2 A chores + 1 B chore, or 2 B chores
- Every morning, Mom pulls out the cards of the chores that need to be done that day
- Kids get to pick what they want to do, making sure that they fill their quota
- Mom does what wasn't picked by kids
- These 4 chores are in addition to: tidying up their own room, making own beds, and self-grooming (basically, the personal stuff)...so the 4 chores are family work (I'm learning more as I'm writing this...awesome!)
- She's a homeschool mom, but she "rewards" the kids with an extra chore if they don't get their morning routines done by breakfast at 8 am. For public school kids, that could mean that if they don't make their beds, tidy their rooms, and groom themselves before they go to school, they have to do an extra chore when they come home.
- Young children learn things as they are able to do them and interested in doing them. Until then, they shadow mom and "help" with the family work in their own little ways.
This article really has helped change my outlook of housework. I'm seeing it as drudgery less...and that's good!
I welcome a discussion about this topic...I would love to hear what works for you and your family.
PS--I decided to just focus on the basics...getting dressed, making the bed, and cleaning up toys. Since our move, he's made his bed about 5 times, well, so have I. But, he has taken on emptying the trash as his own chore. And sometimes he'll empty the dishwasher, too.
PPS--I just found this while visiting OrganizedHome.com
http://organizedhome.com/family-ties/kids-chores-chilling-chore-wars
Yet another view on what I would like to see happen in my home...now the challenge...implementation...
4 comments:
My philosophy is to teach them what I want them to do from day one. I figure if I wait too long to implement a principle, I missed the boat already. So, for example, if Sophia can pick up a book to look at it, she can also put it back. When we read, she can pull out books to read, but part of that is then to put them back. If she can hold a spoon and feed herself, she can also put a spoon away, and so on. So, with that said, we're making good progress in learning to put things away once we've used them. She's helped me (literally) unload the dishwasher by pulling out the items I name and handing them to me. She's carried plates to the sink, and she's helped me load the washer and drier. Some of those things take longer initially as I'm teaching her and showing her how to do things, but in the long run she figures it out sooner, and learns how to be clean. I try to make sure it's a positive experience for her. If I don't hate work, and we make it a fun experience, she'll learn to not mind work - or so I hope. We'll see how it goes in a few years I guess. As for now, she's a great helper...
Once she's older so I can call on her to do a specific job, I kind of like the card idea, though I'd probably not do it quite as structures. I've also seen magnet boards at Barnes and Nobles with chore lists, and magnets for each day, different persons, and different chores, and you can just move them around. Maybe that'd work for you...I really liked them and may buy them when the time comes for more structure.
I agree that teaching as they grow and as you go is the best way. Colden and Dylan are both really good at helping me get laundry. Colden sorts it, Dylan puts the soap in the washer, they both like to help me transfer it to the dryer. And sometimes, Evelynn will "help" me fold. They all participate in "clean up" time, even Evelynn.
When I remember how I was taught, that's what I think of. I really admire how my mom taught us...and she had some structure with that, too. We had a rotating dinner dishes chore chart but she was always there to help, too. And we rotated the weekly big jobs so no one would get sick of always getting stuck with the bathrooms.
I can't do chore charts and cards and keep track of all of that stuff. Each child has chores assigned to them that they must do each day...most of them in the morning and preferably before breakfast or school. We amend their responsibilities about twice a year, usually at the beginning of the school year and again about halfway through. I've used "The Parenting Breakthrough" as a guide for which chores should be tackled at which age, but I also go with my gut.
Everybody makes beds, picks up toys and puts away their own laundry. Julie and Delia take turns sorting dirty clothes (I've revised my laundry system and I love it...posts to come!) on an even/odd day basis, Delia is in charge of trash from the bathroom and bedrooms (done weekly) and Julianna unloads the dishwasher. Everybody helps set the table (they each have an assigned item to set out) and everybody clears their own place. Julianna and Delia also help with vacuuming their bedroom and playroom as needed. I also make them help me with spring cleaning/dusting etc.
We set up the chores at a Family Home Evening, where we teach the kids how to do the assigned chores and let them practice it and then we implement it from there. I have a list of who does what, but I don't really have to refer to it often. Everybody knows what they need to do. They do still need reminding, but I think that ends when they go to college.
I still struggle with this too. I've done charts and assignments and so far, my girls really do like to help most of the time, but nothing is really assigned. We do the dinner chore chart that mom did and they really like that.
The Parenting Breakthrough was a really great book on all that stuff too that I use and Brinley likes to see what she's capable of when she has her birthday.
I'd like to see what you do and if it works. So do a follow-up post!
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