Ch-ch-changes

Pulling the Van out of the mud. Even the tow truck got stuck. Quick story...Rob really wanted to go shooting, but it had been a rainy/snowy weekend. That didn't stop him. He thought it wouldn't be a big deal. We got stuck in mud that acted like suction cups. Even the tow truck got stuck. A friend, who lived down that country road, had her farm hand help the tow truck out with their tractor. And the tow truck finally got us on the road. The next day, our friend's father told us a story of a tractor they had stuck in that mud for about a week before it got out. Never again will we go shooting in wet weather!

This is a year where there are supposed to be a lot of changes in our lives. But so far, not much has changed. So we're in limbo on most of the changes. I don't like being in limbo. But one thing I have learned, it's often a good idea to take big things one at a time. I'm not very good with being overworked and overstressed. I fall apart easily so it's best for me to tackle one big thing at a time.

Since January 1, we knew that we were going to make sure 4 big changes happen this year...one is opening a second office location for Rob's practice in Prescott. Two was for us to finally purchase a home. And three was for Rob to stop working down in Phoenix and focus his time up here and hopefully have more time off for enjoying life. And four is to not prevent baby number five from coming.

In February, I read a great book, the Power of Less, and took to heart the challenge of working on one goal at a time. A surprise change came along with this. So I made a big list of all the things I'm consistently working on...like decluttering the house, keeping a routine/schedule, exercising daily, making my bed daily, educating the kids, and communicating better with Rob. That last one was something I just jotted down at the end when I realized how much other people (like Rob's siblings) have encouraged us to communicate better. So when I prayerfully asked which goal I should work on in March, the answer was to work on my communication with Rob. It was a bigger bear of a goal than I had realized. I shared my goal with him and he gladly agreed that we both needed to work on it. We tackled some poor communication habits we had formed...and we realized many communication errors we have based on our upbringing. On my side, I suppress many of my feelings and thoughts in favor of keeping peace in the family. However I sometimes felt like my thoughts or feelings aren't as important and I would feel resentful about my needs not being met...which, as Rob points out, is hard to meet my needs when I don't communicate them. On his side, he'll shut a conversation out when it gets too emotional. So when I would finally open up, and I would just about get to what I would consider a resolution, he would shut the conversation down and want to deal with it later. Bad combination. But we have made a lot of progress. And the most important thing is that we're working through this together. We have also agreed, out loud, that if we can't overcome this on our own, we'll seek professional help.

It feels so good to be married to a man who will do something that's hard so that our relationship can get even better.

Change one is happening. And it's big. It's consuming our lives right now. Rob has signed a lease on a second location and we're working hard to get it ready and inform the community about the new location.

We're trying to get things in order to make change 2 and 3 happen. In March, I was looking at houses and showed a few to Rob. He suggested that we call a realtor to see the houses. But I told him that I didn't want to start that process until he was settled in his second practice. I just didn't want to overload us too much when I don't have to. And that was a good decision. Uncle Sam wasn't as kind to us this year with taxes so we'll have to save more aggressively than I had anticipated.

And number 4. You're still reading because you hope I have an announcement. Well, I don't. I'm not pregnant yet. And it's okay. I'm grateful to have energy right now to focus on making these changes happen. I also had a mammogram screening 2 weeks ago (something I feel like I need to do regularly now that I'm 34 because breast cancer runs in my family...the results were normal).

Another good change was a change of heart. Between me and Rob, one of us always has a big calling/responsibility in our church. We willingly accept them and believe them to come as a request from The Lord. But often, after a few months, we aren't as eagerly engaged in our callings. They become more of a burden than a blessing. So we've been coming around and realizing that we need to be more appreciative of the opportunity we have to serve others and serve the Lord. We shouldn't grumble about the time our callings take us from doing other things but instead find ways to incorporate family time and renewal time through serving in our callings. Yesterday, Rob and I got to escape on an overnight retreat where the leaders spoke with us about teaching, strengthening, and leading the boys and youth in our church. I'm so glad we were able to go. And I'm so thankful for the friends who watched our kids so we could both go.